farrah
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by farrah on Nov 27, 2006 13:06:00 GMT -5
this thread came at a good time, my two girls have faught all weekend. They are five years apart, which you would think would be ok....however the older one has adhd and the younger one can get under her skin and push all of her buttons. then the adhd dd being older and bigger will use physical violence against the younger one which by now makes my house a screaming match.
so i can relate.
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leigh
Junior Member
Posts: 81
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Post by leigh on Nov 27, 2006 14:35:11 GMT -5
The younger one has ADHD inattentive with anger and agressive issues thrown in just for fun. LOL!!!! I love the way you put that......"just for fun." LOL!!! Charliegirl, yes, I've heard that, too. I think I'm the problem. LOL! I just wish I had a magic wand to tap on their heads. LOL! Well.......that......or the ability to twitch my nose ("Bewitched" style)and make them disappear into some space age time out room so I don't hear them scream "How many more minutes! Tell me NOW! How many more minutes???!!!!"  Farrah, glad this thread can help you, too. BTW, I have a neice in England with the same name. |
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Post by puzzled on Dec 16, 2006 22:33:41 GMT -5
I had to come back and post on this thread again, because somewhere on this board...and I am not sure where...at about the same time as when I posted this...Charlie girl described how it feels to an ADHD mind when someone chatters nonstop. I had my 13 year old son (the non ADHDer) read it and do the ADHD simulator thing, and since then, they have not fought at all!!!
Sometimes I hear Chase say to Jake, "You need to be quiet, Jake." AND JAKE LISTENS!!!
I know when I had Jake read Charlie Girl's description, he said all somber and serious..."Ok, I will try harder, I didn't know" I think hearing it from an adult made the difference.
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Post by misty on Dec 16, 2006 22:37:28 GMT -5
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Post by puzzled on Dec 16, 2006 22:50:35 GMT -5
There was also a post (or maybe it was a PM??) where she described the chattering as a hive of bees happily living nearby, buzzing away, and then when someone (or something) starts the new sound/dostraction, the bees come and buzz in your head...or something..it was much more eloquent....and when I read it out loud to the boys, Chase said "YES!!! THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!! And he was releived to finally have word to dexcribe the feeling in his brain...it made Jake pause, and he got it too..
I have good kids....gotta love em!
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Post by Charlie Girl on Dec 17, 2006 0:28:37 GMT -5
I found it but it took some digging. Its in our vent board in a thread called Sibling Issues. I'll paste it here just to show what a great memory you have. I had forgotten I had used that anology but you had it right on.
I can identify with your little guy as far as his brother chattering at him. We have so much going on inside our heads all the time that someone who is constantly talking and teasing puts us in overload very easily.
Its like going from having a swarm of bees living in their hives peacefully nearby to having them suddenly get agitated and swarm around and inside your head with the constant buzzing and moving. You can't block it out and you can't confine it to one area. It takes over your entire mind until you think you are going to go insane if it doesn't stop.
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Post by puzzled on Dec 17, 2006 9:43:51 GMT -5
I knew that was the analogy...and it worked like a charm...Jake still is an annoying big brother at times, but he has started listening and empathising a bit more...so... THANK YOU!!!!  |
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Post by Charlie Girl on Dec 17, 2006 11:59:40 GMT -5
You're welcome. I am just thrilled that it helped his brother understand.
When you don't have ADHD, it just looks to others like you are so self centered and touchy that you think the world should revolve around you. Really all we are hoping for is that the world will spin a little more slowly so we can just keep our sanity and fit in.
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Post by puzzled on Dec 17, 2006 12:08:30 GMT -5
When we have talked about it since (I try to touch on it every few days when Jake and I are alone) he has said, "I just figured he was overreacting, and too touchy, I dodn't realize he couldn't help it..."
I have been telling Jake how much he is helping Chase to have a nice safe non stressful place here at home by listening to him when he gets overwhelmed. I think it helps Jake to see that I notice his efforts.
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Post by Charlie Girl on Dec 17, 2006 12:22:06 GMT -5
I'm sure it helps.
A non ADHD sibling has so much responsibility dumped on them and often they don't realize how much we parents appreciate it. Actually, too much of the time we do tend to take them for granted, not realizing how much they are sacrificing.
I think its wonderful that you let him know you appreciate him.
If you think it will help you can tell him that someday his brother will realize how much he is doing to help him and he will appreciate it more than either of them can imagine at this point.
Tell him for me that I think he is a really wonderful big brother for trying so hard to make his brother's life more pleasant. I know its hard.
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Post by puzzled on Dec 17, 2006 13:10:31 GMT -5
I had him read your post, and he got that "Aww shucks" proud grin on his face and said..."Okay..." when I again told him that I really do appreciate his effort and understanding. I think it really helps him to see another adult (besides me) explain it to him...that way it is not just me protecting my "baby". All I know is that it has been lots more peaceful around here these last couple weeks...  |
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