Post by misty on Nov 13, 2005 16:40:03 GMT -5
This article from Schwablearning.org, addresses kids with LD making friends. I posted it separate from Charliegirls post since she is looking for personal experiences & this is an article.
Helping Kids with Learning Disabilities Understand the Language of Friendship
While children with learning disabilities may know how to initiate friendships, many of their relationships fail because they don’t know how to sustain them. Children with learning disabilities often end friendships because they have been unable to work out conflicts. While they may hear their friend’s words, they often don’t take the communication (e.g., joking and teasing) the way it was intended, often attributing negative intentions when they were not present. Because of their difficulty processing language, many children with learning disabilities are poor listeners. Whether it is because of their problems comprehending verbal and nonverbal communication, or because of their desire to make the information easier to grasp, they often put information into simple, “black and white” categories (e.g., good or bad). Instead of understanding manners, building rapport by checking (asking questions), or understanding that the person may have said something without really thinking of its impact and was unintentionally hurtful, unresolved misunderstandings can escalate into conflicts that can end friendships abruptly.
Listening vs. Comprehending: Do They Understand the Nonverbal Message?
For many kids with learning disabilities, the problem isn’t with listening but with understanding how nonverbal and verbal communication fit together. Many children assume that if they understand a friend’s words, they don’t need to pay attention to his body language.
For many kids with learning disabilities, the problem isn’t with listening but with understanding how nonverbal and verbal communication fit together.
Nonverbal messages are conveyed in one’s tone of voice, facial expressions, and body posture and are more accurate indicators of how the speaker really feels.
Teaching Children to Understand Nonverbal Communication
Children usually respond well if they are given specific lessons in how to read body language and if they practice it with their friends and family.
Does her tone ofhat her words say?
Does she maintain eye contact, look away, or look nervous?
Does she seem comfortable?
However, the subtlety eludes many kids with language processing problems. They would prefer a direct answer such as, “No, I don’t want to play” to an indirect “Maybe.”
Accepting Joking and Teasing with Humor
Since many children with learning disabilities are hypersensitive to criticism, they often take teasing as an insult rather than in jest.
Understanding joking and teasing also relies on a child’s ability to interpret the more subtle messages in another person’s nonverbal behavior and to accept hurtful actions as being unintentional. Kids often joke or tease by commenting on an existing characteristic, trait or mannerism — either theirs or yours.
Learning Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict resolution often relies on differentiating between a person’s actions and his intentions. Kids often say or do things without any conscious intention of being hurtful. Many children with learning disabilities, out of a desire to protect themselves from further pain, project negative intentions on other children; they often react to criticism when none was intended, or take a joke or a friendly tease seriously. This can have negative social consequences.
Children with learning differences can become better listeners if they:
learn the subtle rules of manners.
pay attention to nonverbal messages.
take joking and teasing with humor.
practice conflict resolutions skills.
Helping Kids with Learning Disabilities Understand the Language of Friendship
While children with learning disabilities may know how to initiate friendships, many of their relationships fail because they don’t know how to sustain them. Children with learning disabilities often end friendships because they have been unable to work out conflicts. While they may hear their friend’s words, they often don’t take the communication (e.g., joking and teasing) the way it was intended, often attributing negative intentions when they were not present. Because of their difficulty processing language, many children with learning disabilities are poor listeners. Whether it is because of their problems comprehending verbal and nonverbal communication, or because of their desire to make the information easier to grasp, they often put information into simple, “black and white” categories (e.g., good or bad). Instead of understanding manners, building rapport by checking (asking questions), or understanding that the person may have said something without really thinking of its impact and was unintentionally hurtful, unresolved misunderstandings can escalate into conflicts that can end friendships abruptly.
Listening vs. Comprehending: Do They Understand the Nonverbal Message?
For many kids with learning disabilities, the problem isn’t with listening but with understanding how nonverbal and verbal communication fit together. Many children assume that if they understand a friend’s words, they don’t need to pay attention to his body language.
For many kids with learning disabilities, the problem isn’t with listening but with understanding how nonverbal and verbal communication fit together.
Nonverbal messages are conveyed in one’s tone of voice, facial expressions, and body posture and are more accurate indicators of how the speaker really feels.
Teaching Children to Understand Nonverbal Communication
Children usually respond well if they are given specific lessons in how to read body language and if they practice it with their friends and family.
Does her tone ofhat her words say?
Does she maintain eye contact, look away, or look nervous?
Does she seem comfortable?
However, the subtlety eludes many kids with language processing problems. They would prefer a direct answer such as, “No, I don’t want to play” to an indirect “Maybe.”
Accepting Joking and Teasing with Humor
Since many children with learning disabilities are hypersensitive to criticism, they often take teasing as an insult rather than in jest.
Understanding joking and teasing also relies on a child’s ability to interpret the more subtle messages in another person’s nonverbal behavior and to accept hurtful actions as being unintentional. Kids often joke or tease by commenting on an existing characteristic, trait or mannerism — either theirs or yours.
Learning Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict resolution often relies on differentiating between a person’s actions and his intentions. Kids often say or do things without any conscious intention of being hurtful. Many children with learning disabilities, out of a desire to protect themselves from further pain, project negative intentions on other children; they often react to criticism when none was intended, or take a joke or a friendly tease seriously. This can have negative social consequences.
Children with learning differences can become better listeners if they:
learn the subtle rules of manners.
pay attention to nonverbal messages.
take joking and teasing with humor.
practice conflict resolutions skills.
