Being a Role Model

[misty]

Your Job as a Role Model

by: Anthony Kane, MD

A certain educator was once asked at what point should a parent begin to prepare for child raising.

"How old are you?" the educator inquired.

"Twenty-three."

"You should begin twenty-three years ago."

What is the message? The single most important thing a parent can do to educate a child is to provide the child with a good role model. A parent has to work a whole lifetime becoming the type of person that he wants his child to become.

www.adhd-made-simple.com/role_model.html

So.....What I'd like is for us all to list some things we do to be good role models to our children.

I'll start.

One thing I always do is show respect to service workers.Being polite to cashiers, not getting upset if they give me the wrong change, giving the mailman a popsicle on a hot day, thanking the mentally challenged baggers at the grocery store, tipping our waitress well, etc. Its worked....my daughter is 12 & I see her displaying the same courtesies.

Also, My whole family loves the elderly! I mean we think they are adoreable & we all go out of our way to help them. We cut our 83 yr old neighbors grass for free, give up our seats for them, visit nursing homes, things like that. Shannon definately learned that from us! I SEE her displ;aying those same qualities!

[marja]

Misty, I like this and it´s so important, for any kid w/adhd or not.

I do the same as you, I try to show my kid´s that you must respect all people even if they are challenged by some way, I am polite and theach them to be polite too. I talk a lot, so my kid´s are used to mom talking to people at stores and elsewhere, just to be friendly and polite and care... I hope they´ll see that you can be friendly without expecting some profit of it.

I am a firm believer on model-based learning, I think that´s the most powerfull way to learn, some pattern´s of behaviour come subcostanly by the way´s you see other´s do thing´s..

So, it put´s some pressure to think that own behaviour is something you want to see your kid´s doing...

[jj]

I remember one of the girls Nikki played with had an older step-sister that I really didn't want Nikki around. She was already in the makeup stage (she had make-up on so heavy) and was all ready talking about how to get boyfriends at 9 1/2 yrs. old and this including wearing sexy clothes (her words), just far to grown up for her age to put it midly. I remember thinking how does this happen? Well, I eventually I met the Mom. Nuff said.

[unicorn-tiff'smom]

Manners. I have always taught Tiff the importance of good manners. Just a please and a thank you or no thank you and what that means to someone. She also has learned about holding a door for someone behind you. Doesn't it just make you crazy when someone lets a door close on you? She goes the other extreme and holds it for everyone lol.

Respect.

I hope that I have taught her just by example. Everyone tells me how sweet, polite, compassionate, caring and understanding she is. So I guess I am on the right track.

[marja]

Unicorn... baby step´s, remember Sound´s like you hava a real sweetie in your hand´s

[unicorn-tiff'smom]

She is a sweetie. I only hope that outside influences and peer pressure in future years will not sway her in things that I have taught her.

[misty]

unicorn said:

She is a sweetie. I only hope that outside influences and peer pressure in future years will not sway her in things that I have taught her.

Thats what I worry about too, Unicorn.

Thats why I never tried to squash her hard-headedness. She's stubborn about her clothing, music, activity choices & I let her be rather than trying to sway her. I encourage her to stick up for what she believes in & likes. I encourage her to say, "NO, I don't like that", even when all her friends are doing it. That sense of self, the knowledge that she has her own mind & its OK to be different will serve her well as she grows up & is being pressured to try drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.

[John]

My Rachel is kinda' like that to Dawn . . . it is to be stubbern for the right reasons !

[Charlie Girl]

I raised my daughter to know her own mind and not back down on important issues. I am trying to do the same with my son. He is so easily swayed sometimes if someone he want to impress makes a suggestion. It worries me.

One thing I tell my kids is that you may not like someone and you may not choose them as a friend to hang with, but it doesn't cost a penny to be polite and reasonably friendly when you do have to be together.

I also encourage them to befriend kids who have poor social skills as long as the kid is basically a nice kid. I encourage them to include the kid in some group activities they wouldn't normally be invited into. My son is very resistant but my daughter was always courteous and reasonably friendly to other kids. How can you not like someone who treats you as a valuable person?

[misty]

admin said:

One thing I tell my kids is that you may not like someone and you may not choose them as a friend to hang with, but it doesn't cost a penny to be polite and reasonably friendly when you do have to be together.

I tell Shannon the SAME things. Well, not in those exact words, but I've always taught her to be polite & nice to even those kids she doesnt care for. Theres no reason to be rude & mean to people or to snub them.

Anoher thing I've instilled in her is a strong sense of family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, etc...we have a LARGE close family. If she has to choose between doing something with a friend, or a family member she always chooses the family. If her cousins get on her nerves, she'll tell me "So & so is making me SO MAD...but they are my cousin & I love them anyway".