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Post by katiekat on Jan 5, 2007 16:25:55 GMT -5
Does anyone else have this problem-if so please tell me how you handle it before I lose it completely. Sean has always(but lately it's become much worse) obsessed over things. If he gets an idea in his head no matter how much we tell him no he does not let up. He will talk about it night and day forever. Even when we say dont say that word again he will start up 5 minutes later. He will find something he wants or wants to do and will perseverate on it non stop. He has literally said the words "gift card" 500 times in the past 2 days. He also wants to take a toy to his friends house after school on Monday and has not stopped talking about that since 11 a m yesterday. He wants to take yugio cards he needs a bag for them he wants to write on it and on and on.He is frantic over it. I googled this and got a web site-the bi polar child and it described what he does to a tee.  |
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Post by misty on Jan 5, 2007 18:02:27 GMT -5
Katie, I believe Losty has posted on this very subject. My daughter does this too. We always said she was like a Dog with a Bone! Its very annoying, I'll give you that. Let me go dig up that post for you....Oh, I'm sorry it was Uni, not Losty & she called it the Dog with the Bone syndrome, & I've always said that too about Shannon. Anyway, heres the link to the thread if you'd like to read it: barb1.proboards31.com/index.cgi?board=behavior&action=display&thread=1153843350 |
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annem
Founding Member 
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Post by annem on Jan 6, 2007 14:06:09 GMT -5
Hi KatieKat ... I think this is more common than you may think amongst our adhd'ers .... and I dooo believe it is an adhd trait and NOT necessarily a bipolar trait (although it may well be found there too!) ... My son is not bipolar but he was for years and years like this ... normally over something he had decided he wanted to do or get ... and until it was either "done" or "bought" he would go on and on and on about it (whatever it was!) ..  Sam is now 18 going on 19 and I am pleased to say that this is NOWHERE near like it was ... But (sorry but there is a but!) there is still a trace of it in him ... for example he is a very keen fisherman ... and if he decides that he wants to go fishing the following day ... and then can't for whatever reason ... he will continue to want to go on a CONSTANT basis until he actually IS able to go ... and then ... and then and only then the idea of going fishing (only using this as an example) is satisfied and he can put that thought behind him "until the next time" ... He is the same if he has ordered something to arrive in the post ... he will almost pace up and down waiting for whatever it is to arrive ... and heaven help him if it arrives a day or two later than he expected!!  So although it improves the traits are often still left over !! Also, much as I can empathise ... I haven't got any great ideas on how to handle it .. it just used to frustrate me HUGELY!! |
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Post by jj on Jan 6, 2007 14:34:52 GMT -5
You know on another site there were some "people" who said ADHD doesn't exist. That they had seen how the parents would just give in to what ever their kid wants. Because they "saw" this they thought it was just a matter of discipline and sticking to your guns. Ha, Ha, ha. I wish they could read this thread and the one Misty posted.
Sure parents may give in and who can blame them because if they don't "give in" on the little stuff once in a while they are in for days worth of nagging.
Once these kids get a notion in their head it is as if every other thought has evaporated and that "notion" is the ONLY thing they have left in their brain. I am telling you....this brings back the memories and not fond ones I can guarantee you!
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Post by jj on Jan 6, 2007 14:46:16 GMT -5
BTW Katiekat, My "fond memories" are of Nikki, my grand niece whom I had custody. Nikki is not bipolar. She was officially DX'd ADD (not hyper) and I am 100% the DX was correct. But she was exactly like your son.
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Post by unicorn-tiff'smom on Jan 6, 2007 15:27:01 GMT -5
Katie like Misty said, I do call it dog with a bone. Tiff does it all the time, gets stuck on one thing and won't let it go.
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Post by bugsmom on Jan 6, 2007 20:25:23 GMT -5
Katie...I can so relate to this subject. Josh isn't quite as bad as he was when he was younger, but he still does this. We can't tell him plans we make for something fun, until the morning we do it, or he'll just go on and on about what we plan to do. It is just questions after question. Josh's favorite thing in the world is to go fishing and bow hunting. If he and my husband plan a day out, he will talk about the lures he's going to use, what pole to bring, what he's going to wear... over and over until I want to pull my hair out. He continues on until they have done the activity. Believe me your not alone. I think with Josh's anxiety, the talking about it calms him down and and he feels more in control when he has everything planned out. I don't know...that's what it seems like to me. Hang in there! ;D
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Post by katiekat on Jan 7, 2007 1:44:03 GMT -5
JJ-These "people" who dont believe in ADHD can come to my house. I have 2 kids raised the same way,with the same rules who are NOTHING alike.
Yes, sometimes I give in because I give up! Who hasn't right?
My older son sometimes bugs me for something over and over because I've said no and he wants me to say yes. However he will let up once he realizes I am serious.
On the other hand Sean literally obsesses over things for weeks.And not even things he wants to do but has been told no. Like he sleeps over his grandparents sometimes-and we'll know about it a week ahead of time. From that day he wants me to pack his bag what should he bring he wants to draw them a picture should he take a game EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK. Yes, I would like those people to read this too because it is not a matter of disciplining your child.
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Post by crazyhouse on Jan 7, 2007 6:29:52 GMT -5
Oh Katie I am going through the same thing right now with Jake! He will go on and on and on and on and on for hours about things and I am loosing my patients with him. We kinda do what bugsmom does anything super exciting we can't tell him until that day like tommorow we are supposed to go to Grandmas house we won't tell him because he won't sleep over this he will misbehave instead of consentrating on eating dinner or picking up toys he is consentrating on what he is going to do at grandmas house I cant tell you how many times I have heard can we go swimming in the winter at grandmas!! ;D I am at home all day with him while my husbund is at work long hours and I sat down with him tonight and said we have got to make a change. I told him I needed him at home a little more to give me some breathing room between kids and my chores. So I'm trying to get him to come down from 60 some hours a week down to 50 hours a week. It doesn't sound like to much to ask. It's just my sanity on the line I have been told if your kid willl not stop blah blah blah or obsessing or something right in your ear you should send him to his room to play not as punishment, but just to get you a break and him a different change of scenery. I hope it works I haven't tried it yet with mister Jake but It sure sounds like a good idea anyways hugs for all the stress you are going through  |
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Post by katiekat on Jan 7, 2007 11:39:37 GMT -5
Crazyhouse, I never really thought about not telling Sean things ahead of time because I have always felt like he needs to be "prepared" for things, like if we spring things on him it becomes complete bedlam. However compared to what Im dealing with now it might be the way to go. Unfortunately it wont stop the things like"Next summer can we go minature golfing" and the preparations he wants to make for that. How about you go look for your lost library book that you need TODAY instead.
As far as the time to yourself you do need it. I am in the same situation.Home with Sean all day and husband works long hours. A few months ago I started making Sean have a 2 hour quiet time in his room. Its not a punishment-just part of our day. It is my sanity. My husband and I also had a serious talk about all of this and I have decided I am going back to work. I have always worked except for the past 6 months because of the kindergarten schedule but Im not going to last until September. I feel I am sinking into depression. You have to take care of yourself too.
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Post by katiekat on Jan 8, 2007 0:11:39 GMT -5
Crazyhouse, I just wanted to add that when my husband and I had our "talk" I also insisted that the 2 of us get 1 night out a week ALONE. We've been doing it for about a month now and it is a great stress reliever,and a time to focus on ourselves and our relationship for once.
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