medication worries.......

[alan]

Ok another thread about whats on my mind guys...........
MY ds is four and ADHD he has been doing better at the school and some good days and some bad.
At the end of this term he is to get evaluated again,now i know there is no way in hell that once he goes to the big school he will be able to concentrate and sit at the table like other kid in class. At present the extra teacher in the class (iep)helps occupy him and works hard to keep him in order. But when he goes up next year there will be only one teacher in a class of say 20? Sos i thinkmedication will be likely.

I know as a parent we have a right not to medicate and me and DW have talked about it, but i have to admit i dont want him to loose his personality as some people have warned me.

Can someone please give me some good experience stories as i think i am starting to get the Hebyjebbies at the thought of medicating

[Charlie Girl]

If they alter his basic personality, the meds are either too strong or not the right ones. The right med at the right dose will enable him to control himself better but not give him a zombie type personality; he just won't be climbing the walls as much.

[rae70]

My son Damian is now 9.5 years we started him on Dexamphetamine when he was 7. Prior to this he was having a lot of behaviour problems, and was very hard to manage. The dexamphetamine did not agree with him at all, in caused him to become rather anxious and depressive and so we changed to long lasting dex. no real improvment there. Then we discovered Ritalin and his learning world was opened up for him. he could at last focus and concentrate. recently he was tested and we discovered that our son is exceptionally intelligent - something that was hard to notice at all under all that bad behaviour over the years. his problems now are mostly due to anxiety and we have recently started him on risperdal. My suspicion is that he may be schizophrenic or bi polar and his high IQ makes his life a little harder for him at times, the Dr said its harder to treat the smart ones because they are so complex. he has held his meds under his tongue and spat them in the bushes after leaving the office and has been very difficult at school with running away etc.

its a long hard road parenting these kids. I am hoping that my son has just ADHD with anxiety and no major mental illness but if he does it will show later in his teens.

But at the moment he is managing well on risperdal and ritalin and we are happy. with Damian we count our blessings when we have these peaceful periods and i must admit they are becoming more and more longer.

getting the meds right is the tricky bit. my suggestion is to find a very good child psychiatrist that specialises in meds, as does damians. his psychiatrist is not interested in the counselling side - just in biological affects with regards to meds and getting the balances correct. that has been extremely helpful for damian to have such a hyperfocussed (and honestly i am suspicious that this dr is a tad ADHD himself lol) on getting meds perfect.

[puzzled]

My son is 10 and started meds last March. Before meds, his grades steadily fell..in the early grades, he got decent grades, A's and B's, but always had comments on his grade card like "Does not turn in work consistently" "does not follow directions" "Does not stay on task". In my mind I would tell myself.."Oh well, his grades are fine..." Then when he hit 4th grade, the work became more difficult, and he began having to change classes for each subject, and the complaints began pouring in along with the C's and D's. He could not remember any of his supplies from class to class, he was bringing home tons of homework, despited being given 10 minutes at the end of each class to complete some of it..papers that said "Done together in class" across the top of them would come home with Horrid grades on them....How can one get an F on a paper that was done together in the class??!!!

i finally faced the fact after trying everything that I and the teachers could think of that there was a real problem here. My son was really trying to do well, and sometimes he would for brief moments, but it was never lasting. I had him evaluated, and a diagnosis made. After being medicated, he hasn't had a C on his grade card in almost 3 grading periods...all A' last time and on the last progress report.

We were lucky, the first med that he took did the trick, and from the first day he was a different boy. His self confidence has soared. Before meds, he would tell me every day when I picked him up at school..."Mom ,I don't know why you think I am smart...I am too dumb to learn anything" "Why don't you and Mrs, Walker (his homeroom teacher) just give up on me?"

Now he tells me that his goal is to not have any paper with a grade lower than a 95% on it, and most of them are higher! His personality is the same...he still stands up for the underdog at every opportunity. His teachers tell me that he is a very kind, considerate boy, often coming to the aid of a physically handicapped boy that is in his class that others taunt. This boy is on crutches, and my son helps him with his books when he needs it even if they are not headed in the same direction. He has helped him up when he slipped on the ice (yesterday). He still is a jokester, loving to come to me with the latest joke that he has heard...."Mom. spell furniture" I say ok "F-u-" "Mom, watch your language" then cackles as he waits for me to get it.

The only issue that we have is overemotional over reactions to small things and he did that before meds to a much bigger degree...we just have to tweak the meds...find the right combination...but he is the same little boy that he was...he just was able to come out of his cocoon and show us what he was capable of.

He call the med his "sweet pill" and when I asked him why, he said "Because it helps me to calm down and be sweet" If he forgets to take it, he will call me from school to bring it, but he has only forgotten once...

I have never regretted giving him the meds, and only wish that I had seen the light a year or two earlier...but he is not the "hyper " type, just inattentive, so he slipped through the cracks for a while...I still have people (teachers this year) say to me "He has ADHD? Tell me how you came to that...he does so well!" I have to tell them the story, and then I tell them to go and talk to his teachers from years past...

The sweetest thing is that my boy could not wait to show his progress report from a few weeks ago to his teacher from last year...he credits her with finally getting his brain dead mom (my words not his) to see the light and begin testing him for the disability...she was so proud of him.

He told me yesterday that he wants to be a science teacher when he grows up...now that will probably change next week, but it speaks to the fact that he now loves school, where before meds, he would rather be anywhere but school.

I had heard the same horror stories and as a preschool teacher, witnessed a few myself.

I have learned though, as others have told you, if the child's personality is altered so much, the med or the dosage is not right...keep looking.

[katiekat]

My son is in kindergarten and I wish we could medicate. He had many problems in pre school and that was our plan for this year.However over the summer the Dr. found a problem with his heart and we have been advised not to medicate.
Kndgtn. is a big change and alot more is expected of them. So far Sean has had a very negative experience with school. He is constantly in trouble for not staying seated,interrupting,running around, and not keeping his hands to himself. He has come to hate school already. His behavior is seriously impeding his ability to learn. We have been working with the teacher,counselor, etc. but are not seeing any change in behavior.
I think with the right medication he could get so much more out of school. I had my concerns about medication but after talking to alot of people I thought it could turn out to be a very positive thing. I wish we had that option.

[Charlie Girl]

KK, have you asked your ped about trying the omegas with your son? He can research if he needs to in order to make sure they would be safe. They give them to stroke patients and in most cases they regain much of what would have been permanently lost if they hadn't taken them, so it is likely your son would be able to take them.

They really can make a big difference, especially with the behavior. The focus improves somewhat also because they are able to control their impulsiveness more and can pay attention more easily.

Its not going to be the same results you would get with meds but it does make a difference, especially with behavior.

[alan]

thanks guys i need to hear the good versions - to many poisonou s thinkers . DS has been kickin off today not sure why must be the moon. ;D

[rae70]

alan there are many poisoness thinkers as you put it - out there! i think we have all experienced it, and for me personally a lot of it came from my family! which hurt a lot.

so put aside all that and listen to your intuition and your love as a parent for your child and wanting the best thing for him, and you will do the best you can do and that is all any of us can do.

to have a dad so committed and searching for information and experiences is in itself a big sign that you are wonder ful father.

welcome to the ADHD journey Alan, it is a hard and challenging role, but it will bring out the best (and occassionally worst) in you as a parent also.

cheers
rae.

[alan]

"and for me personally a lot of it came from my family! which hurt a lot."

OMG!!
tHAT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS US !!
We have an aunt who like thought she knew everything about kids. And we stayed like a weekend and DS just threw a biggie he ran around her yard and like kept touching every thing so she was in my face a bit saying he shouldnt be doing that !!!!

Fortunatly we also have a nurse in the family who tried to put her straight ..
Man i was like fuming by the time we were ready to leave.

[unicorn-tiff'smom]

Alan - my daughter is 8 and currently takes Concerta. It was a decision that I was not sure I wanted to do either about medicating. But it has shown me that she does so much better when she takes her medicine then when she doesn't. I don't believe she'd be able to concentrate at all in school without something.

In her elementary school there are a few students that I have seen in the 2nd grade with an extra helper in the classroom. I am not sure how long that will go on, but for at least this year, these few have the extra help to focus that they need. In my daughters math class the teacher will get one of the specialists (reading, spelling, speech or ESOL) to help during tests. They just are there to watch and give cues to a lot who need that refocusing during a test. That appears to work too.

I hope that when your son hits elementary school, he will be in one as great as the one I have.

And by the way, you are doing a great job and we are all here for support, a shoulder and help you while you figure out what is best for your son.

[rae70]

yes alan - with family their motto sometimes is ignorance is bliss - as parents of these special kids we just have to let it go or it just makes things more stressful for the child. it really sux sometimes

[alan]

I hear that i think in most cases it is the older relatives that ar the hardest work, younger relatives are more open to new diagnosis of conditions..
Where as older one start going , well back in my day when a child.......DRONE DRONE DRONE.

[Linda]

alan said:

I hear that i think in most cases it is the older relatives that ar the hardest work, younger relatives are more open to new diagnosis of conditions..
Where as older one start going , well back in my day when a child.......DRONE DRONE DRONE.

alan you ust gave me a little giggle I am one of the "older ones".....I raised my grandson from the time he was an infant and he is now 18 and doing great!

I hand picked his teachers in elementary school because I knew them(I worked there)Most of the teachers were older and strict and that is what I wanted as long as they threw in a lot of of kindness and compassion.

I made a mistake with his 2nd grade teacher! He was fresh out of college so I figured he was really "up on things".....well he wasn't >:(so I had to educate him lol....go figure ;D

[alan]

you sure sound like a gran in a million mam good for you puttin this whippersnapper in place.

(((((((HUG))))))))))

[rae70]

oh it has nothing to do with the age of the person - Older does never gaurantee wiser!

Nor does younger gaurantee open mindedness.

for one - these kids really do not require open mindedness in fact to give them choices is very stressful. They just need to feel loved and are often extremely responsive to strictness, order, structure rather than what the young ones offer.

In my family it was a combination - I have 5 sibs - my father never has ever commented on what i do or dont do - i look at his face and he just looks like he does realise i am my sons mother and am doing the best i can and considering how badly he did i think he appreciates my efforts lol

my mother is always trying to find the miracle cure for my son, the last one was chiropractor - apparently he will fix him up lol


one sister and her hubby were very judgemental of me and my parenting and choosing meds until they had a behaviourally challenged son (unmedicated) and a daughter with severe epilepsy and now she STILL tries to make me out to be too strict or hard or tough - while her son is out of control and mine isnt! arghhhhh - but it is no where near as bad as it used to be with her judgements. nothing like a dose of walking in anothers shoes to make you shut up ! hehe


one sister is a nurse and she is supportive, but she is also an absent mother who works way too much - so she has learnt never to judge other mothers.

my brother - gawd knows he has similar emotional problems to my son but at 40 and a lifetime of problems about all you will get out of him on a good day is F$%K Off lol


so its is bizarre and a lot of patience on my part raising my son in this family. I would never ditch them as family is family but it has taken me a long time to train them into realising where my boundaries are and what i will and wont accept from them and their opinions and attitudes are not welcome.

[crazyhouse]

Alan the relatives are the worst the friends are horrible too oh hes a normal little BOY This is not normal!!!! pulling the fire alarm at the store to see the fire trucks. Dragging me through the store to get to the toy aisle taking out a ladies knee caps with those 3 ft carts just for kids. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!! I could tie him to the cart and he would knaw his own arm off to get free and off causing havoc in the freezer section. I am in the process of taking Jake to a neurologist. We have decided to wait till after x-mas. Also CC I tried asking my Dr about the omegas but he said it was a ? for the nuerologist, patients is driving me crazy